Back in Focus ;-)

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Life, Purpose, Faith

Where to begin...reflecting, as in my last post, is what I have been doing. Reflecting on my purpose, our purpose. Reflecting on the big WHY. Delving into concepts and pondering subjects that the human brain (mine at least) is not equipped to entirely grasp.

We pass from infancy to adolescence in the time, so it seems, it takes for a good night's rest. Our adult years are much shorter by comparison, racing by in jumps and starts. Highlights and milestones standout in the blurr of time. And how do we spend it? We spend it on trivialities. We worry over insignificance. We collect debt and worthless possessions.


So what are we supposed to do? What is our purpose? What can we do but live the day to day? In the grand scheme of eternal life, what is the purpose of our human existence? Is this a test to see if we are worthy? Is it a contest to see who can resist in a world of temptation? And where is that line? What is the benchmark we are all trying to achieve? Can we win? Can we lose??


By the time I reach all the questions of 'what if' and the 'why', my head is spinning. I have to accept that there are some things that we are just not meant to know. That is a frustrating reality for a personality that is results oriented. I am a "what needs to be done?" person. I am a "list" person. And, as I am reminded each time I reach this point, this is where my faith comes in.


I must have faith that there is a bigger picture, a grand plan that I have a part in. I must have faith that as I muddle through my life, trying to make the "right" decisions, that I am fulfilling the purpose I have been put on Earth for. I admit, it does sound a bit egocentric to think that I am personally a significant part of Our Creator's plan and, yet, I believe it to be true.


And so, I am back to the trivialities of my life. Yes, in the moment many things are important and pressing, but I am conscious that some things that are taken SO seriously are really not. I remember that decisions and situations that seem incredibly significant at the moment, may one day be virtually, if not entirely, inconsequential. I realize that possessions are not worth the debt.


Most of all I realize that, yet again, I don't have the answers, all I can do is what I think is best, the best I know how. I have to lean on God. I have to give up my white knuckled grip on control, a control I never really had.

Reflecting...

The past is always there, whether we choose to focus on it or not.

It's Begging to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

I am looking more forward to this Christmas more than any other Christmas in recent history. I am not anxious to have it get here and over with. I feel like I will get to enjoy the season for the first time in years. The gifts I have for everyone were carefully considered, many homemade.

The lesson I shared with my SuperChurch (kids' church) really hit home for me. We talked about all the preparation for special guests especially around the holidays. We talked about cleaning and decorating and making food and treats. We discussed why we did all those things and how that made our guests feel welcome and special. We talked about all the preparations being for the guest of honor, Jesus Christ and then we decorated our room to welcome Him.

That simple lesson is what I want to live this holiday season. I want my guests and loved ones to know that they are special and worth the efforts and preparations. That all of my "work" was done out of a place of love and care, not obligation and stress. Our shopping for the holidays has been scaled back, but I plan to bake and decorate as usual, if not more. The only thing I am changing is my attitude while doing all me typical holiday preparations. I plan to have more fun, be more creative and worry less. I plan to be more generous, not less.

I thrive on doing for others and have somehow gotten cynical over the years. This year I plan to revert back to my naive ways. I will believe that there is nothing anyone would appreciate more than a dozen homemade cookies or a handmade ornament. I will play Christmas music and have hot cider at the ready for unexpected guests. I will give without thought or want of receiving. Perhaps more difficult, I will be a gracious recipient without feeling as if I must answer with an equal gift. I will take special care in my wrap and presentation.

All of the things I enjoyed about the holidays gradually became tedious chores over the years. I dreaded baking and decorating--things I LOVE to do! I also have to let go of getting everything done perfectly. I may not get it all done. That is OK.

I want my kids to remember a fun, festive, joyous atmostphere, not the stresses of the holidays or just the toys they get. I am taking my Happy Holidays back.